He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
This baby is an asshole
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
