she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
