I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
