If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
