I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
