On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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