bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
