We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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