Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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