How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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