I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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