I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
