I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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