Betty ford says i'm here all night
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
