I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
