She said her name was "party"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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