JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
