North Korea, Best Korea!
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
