im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
