he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
