you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He passed out mid-signature
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
