apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
