he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Dear god my vagina.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
