I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
pop tarts are not kleenex
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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