she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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