It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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