My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm like, not good at living.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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