Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
