I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
