LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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