That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
