What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Welp...herpes.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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