I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
