she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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