Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
