It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
