I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You made out with two different species that night
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
