I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
