I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You ate ashes out of my bong
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
