You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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