Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
