trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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