then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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