I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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