at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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