how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
