Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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