He kissed a someone with a penis
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
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