Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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