Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
