Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
