a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
