somebody snuck up and got me drunk
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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